{"id":2227,"date":"2026-02-24T23:20:48","date_gmt":"2026-02-24T20:20:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.artakalan.org\/?page_id=2227"},"modified":"2026-02-25T14:56:52","modified_gmt":"2026-02-25T11:56:52","slug":"basaramadim","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/en.artakalan.org\/en\/basaramadim\/","title":{"rendered":"I failed"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Ben bu \u00fclkede ba\u015faramad\u0131m.<\/p>

Bunu doland\u0131rmadan, s\u00fcslemeden s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorum.<\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

\u0130nsanca ya\u015famak denilen \u015feye hi\u00e7bir zaman ger\u00e7ekten yakla\u015famad\u0131m. Sevmeyi ba\u015faramad\u0131m. Sevilmeyi ba\u015faramad\u0131m. Birini incitmeden var olmay\u0131 ba\u015faramad\u0131m. Hayat\u0131 keyifle ya\u015famak gibi bir h\u00e2l benim i\u00e7in hi\u00e7 ger\u00e7ek olmad\u0131. Ya\u015famak \u00e7o\u011fu zaman sadece katlanmaktan ibaretti.<\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

\u00c7al\u0131\u015fmay\u0131 ba\u015faramad\u0131m. Tutunmay\u0131 ba\u015faramad\u0131m. D\u00fczenli bir hayat kurmay\u0131 ba\u015faramad\u0131m. Sigortam olmad\u0131. G\u00fcvende hissetmeyi ba\u015faramad\u0131m. Kayg\u0131s\u0131z olmay\u0131 hi\u00e7 ba\u015faramad\u0131m. Kayg\u0131 bende ge\u00e7ici bir durum olmad\u0131; yerle\u015fti, kald\u0131, al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc.<\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

Gece huzurla uyumay\u0131 ba\u015faramad\u0131m. Sabah g\u00fcvenle uyanmay\u0131 da. Gelecek fikri benim i\u00e7in hi\u00e7bir zaman heyecan verici olmad\u0131. Hep bir belirsizlik, hep bir tedirginlik vard\u0131. Ne kadar u\u011fra\u015f\u0131rsam u\u011fra\u015fay\u0131m bu his ge\u00e7medi.<\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

Susmay\u0131 ba\u015faramad\u0131m. Do\u011fru d\u00fczg\u00fcn konu\u015fmay\u0131 da. Ne zaman susmam gerekti\u011fini bildim ama sustu\u011fumda i\u00e7imde bir \u015feyler birikti. Konu\u015ftu\u011fumda ise yanl\u0131\u015f anla\u015f\u0131ld\u0131m ya da hi\u00e7 duyulmad\u0131m. \u0130nsanlarla ayn\u0131 dili konu\u015fmay\u0131 ba\u015faramad\u0131m. Normal denilen \u015feye uyum sa\u011flamay\u0131 ba\u015faramad\u0131m.<\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

Kedilerle, k\u00f6peklerle konu\u015ftum. Onlarla konu\u015fmamay\u0131 da ba\u015faramad\u0131m.<\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

Burada \u201cba\u015faramad\u0131m\u201d dedi\u011fim \u015fey tek tek ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131klar de\u011fil. Bu \u00fclkede ya\u015famaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken \u00fczerime \u00e7\u00f6ken toplam. Uyum sa\u011flayamam\u0131\u015f olmak. Normalle\u015fememi\u015f olmak. S\u00fcrekli eksik hissetmek. S\u00fcrekli yetememek.<\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

Ben bu \u00fclkede ba\u015faramad\u0131m.
Ve bunu s\u00f6ylerken bir iddia koymuyorum, sadece durumu tespit ediyorum.<\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

Resim yapmay\u0131 da pek ba\u015faramad\u0131m zaten\u2026<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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\r\n \"14\r\n <\/figure>\r\n <\/a>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n \t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t
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Y\u0131l \/ Year<\/b>
\n2025
\n\nTeknik \/ Medium<\/b>
\n\nSeramik karo \u00fczerine \u00e7izim
\n\nDrawing on ceramic tile
\n
\n\n\n\u00d6l\u00e7\u00fc \/ Dimensions<\/b>
\n\n10 \u00d7 10 cm \u00b7 4'l\u00fc karo
\n\n10 \u00d7 10 cm \u00b7 Four-tile composition
\n
\n\n\nYerle\u015ftirme \/ Placement<\/b>
\n\nKamusal alan
\n\nPublic space<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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<\/div>\r\n
\r\n \r\n
\r\n \"12\r\n <\/figure>\r\n <\/a>\r\n <\/div>\r\n
\r\n \r\n
\r\n \"12\r\n <\/figure>\r\n <\/a>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <\/div>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n \t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Y\u0131l \/ Year<\/b>
\n2025
\n\nTeknik \/ Medium<\/b>
\n\nSeramik karo \u00fczerine \u00e7izim
\n\nDrawing on ceramic tile
\n
\n\n\n\u00d6l\u00e7\u00fc \/ Dimensions<\/b>
\n\n10 \u00d7 10 cm \u00b7 4'l\u00fc karo
\n\n10 \u00d7 10 cm \u00b7 Four-tile composition
\n
\n\n\nYerle\u015ftirme \/ Placement<\/b>
\n\nKamusal alan
\n\nPublic space<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ben bu \u00fclkede ba\u015faramad\u0131m. Bunu doland\u0131rmadan, s\u00fcslemeden s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorum. \u00a0 \u0130nsanca ya\u015famak denilen \u015feye hi\u00e7bir zaman ger\u00e7ekten yakla\u015famad\u0131m. Sevmeyi ba\u015faramad\u0131m. Sevilmeyi ba\u015faramad\u0131m. Birini incitmeden var<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2238,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-2227","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"acf":{"full_width":true,"header_transparent":false},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/en.artakalan.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2227","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/en.artakalan.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/en.artakalan.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/en.artakalan.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/en.artakalan.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2227"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/en.artakalan.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2227\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2682,"href":"https:\/\/en.artakalan.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2227\/revisions\/2682"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/en.artakalan.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2238"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/en.artakalan.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2227"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}